Sylvia Wynter's Dream

BY JAMILLA MORGAN

Okay. I know I made a big deal about how much I would hate for my children to forget what I will teach them about Jesus in my last post, but if they forget, it is not the end of the world. I am a firm believer in the saying that “while there is life, there is hope”, and while I am still alive, I would pray for any children who may stray from the path I set them on; however, there is a certain beauty that one finds in experiencing something for one’s self, and that makes the event an even sweeter occasion. At least, that is my testimony.

As someone who grew up in the church, I knew the ins and outs of the church, the ways of good and evil, and what was expected of me. However, this knowledge did not motivate me to follow the path of righteousness. I was convinced that I did not need to have extreme devotion to God. I didn’t need a personal relationship with God; it was enough for me to stay out of trouble and do well in school. I would set my expectations and conform to them. In essence, I forgot who I was. I forgot that the Lord was my inheritance.

In hindsight, I thought foolishly. I was trudging through life with the thought that I would make it on my own and wondering why I was being plagued with depression and anxiety. My self-esteem was at an all-time low; I had no friends. However, on an ordinary day, I had an extraordinary experience where God spoke to me through the song, “Make Room” by Jonathan McReynolds. He told me that I was falling short and that He loved me and wanted me to return to Him. At the time, I had little knowledge of God besides what I learnt when I listened to the sermons on Sunday, so for God to speak to me was a beautiful experience. I finally learnt what my mother was trying to express to me, something that I was unable to learn through following her testimonies. I experienced God’s love and care personally. Despite her lessons, Jesus was never as real to me as He was the day He spoke to me, and when He healed me of my brokenness and lack of love, He became even more real.

Essentially, it is a beautiful “Ohhhhhh” moment to experience something good that someone has been telling you about for a while. If my children ever forget my teachings, I pray that they will have such a moment before I die.