Sylvia Wynter's Dream

BY JAMILLA MORGAN

Both my parents are still alive, yet I’ve already inherited something – or rather someone – priceless from them: Jesus. Before you start to think, “Oh, there she goes again on another Christianity rant,”…well, I’ve got nothing. This is another “rant” about Christianity and Jesus and all things pure and holy. I mean, haven’t you ever loved something or someone so much that that is all you want to talk about? In my opinion, if you have truly met Jesus, He would be all you would want to talk about as well. I love Him so much that I cannot imagine any future without Him, and I would be devastated if my children were to forget the principles I intend to teach them. Should my children abandon having a relationship with Jesus and true Christian principles, I am utterly convinced that they will struggle with their sense of identity, hurt others more often than they do not, and drive me to tears in prayer due to their wayward ways as I did my mother.

I imagine that as you read this you begin to think, “Wow. She’s so extra.” Perhaps you don’t share my faith and think you have no trouble in defining yourself. I used to think so too. I was the shy, introverted nerd who loved to read and write. Before I met Jesus that was my identity. Now, I am some of those things – I’m no longer as shy as I used to be – and much more. I am a daughter of Jesus, the Creator of heaven and the earth who came to earth and died in my place. I have the power of the Holy Spirit residing in me. In meeting Jesus, I discovered that He knew me while I was still being formed in the womb and had many plans for me (Psalm 139 verses 16-17). Just knowing all of this and that because I love and serve Him, He works out everything for my good (Romans 8 verse 28) gives me the greatest joy imaginable. I cannot keep this joy to myself; it oozes out of me like jelly from a doughnut pressed together by one’s hands. That is why this is something I feel I must share with my children. I cannot bear the idea of them wandering the way I did, searching for something to define them and not knowing they can only find their identity in Jesus. I tried books, music, leadership positions, and awards. My friends tried parties, sex, alcohol, and marijuana. We both, however, came to the same conclusion: only Jesus would suffice. There was a sense of peace and satisfaction that we experienced when we met Jesus. No person or thing can give us purpose the way Jesus does, and if my children learn that from the beginning, they will not have to make the same mistakes that my friends and I made.

“I cannot keep this joy to myself; it oozes out of me like jelly from a doughnut pressed together by one’s hands.”

Before I got baptised and received the gift of the Holy Ghost (according to Acts 2 verse 38), I was what I would call a “menace to society”. While I wasn’t the traditional non-Christian who smoked and drank and partied, I did not keep to myself or try to live peacefully. I was prone to gossiping and lies, hatred and envy, and had an air of self-righteousness. I was the destroyer of friendships. In my misery, I made others miserable. I hurt many people (sometimes intentionally) and was solely about pleasing myself. Once Jesus changed me, however, I began to see the world from a new lens: one of love. In considering the sacrifice He made for me, I recognised that I was unworthy of receiving His love and mercy and that to express my gratitude to Him, I must extend love and mercy to others. Should my children live without this knowledge, I am sure they will live intent on pleasing themselves, even if they strive to support charitable causes. The fact is that meeting Jesus is a spiritual experience, and without this experience, you are living in a state of carnality where you can never truly live for others. You will always do more to please yourself than to serve others. These actions may be thoughts of greed, desires to withhold forgiveness or other natures. It is the most unfulfilling experience I have ever endured and I would be an unloving mother if I were to neglect my duties in teaching this to my children.

Interestingly, I know I would have driven my mother to tears in prayer in the same way that I expect I will be driven if my children forget these values. As a child, she was instrumental in ensuring that my siblings and I learnt about Jesus – as was my father; however, she was even more forceful about it. Despite her efforts, in my teenage years, I began to be rebellious and neglect her teachings. I imagine she must have cried to God on several occasions. To know that such an important part of your history, something that you treasure above all else in this world is being utterly shunned by your daughter must be heartbreaking, and I know that God must have heard her cry to Him about it often. The thing about knowing your heritage that I find so beautiful is that if you know where you are coming from, it will guide you so that you do not repeat the mistakes of your ancestors. It ensures that you grow without having to experience past mistakes yourself. Therefore, I know my mother was devastated and I know that I will be gutted if my children shun these values that not only teach them to love and serve others but give them a sense of identity,

Essentially, my message is this: meeting Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope that my children will inherit this love for Him even before I am gone. Should amnesia settle in and cause them to neglect my teachings, it would cause havoc as they would wrestle aimlessly with their identity, hurt others needlessly, and cause me to feel immense sorrow. I truly hope that my children will lovingly accept the best gift that I can give them – Jesus.