Sylvia Wynter's Dream

by jessiemayers | Class Blog 3 | Challenging Beliefs

AN ARTISTIC ILLUSTRATION OF OPENMINDED-NESS

I’d like to think I’m a very open-minded person. From a young age, I loved diving into beliefs and ideologies different from what I was taught. I had already read up on conspiracy theories surrounding the Bible, history, extraterrestrials and other topics. 

But nothing prepared me for the day at school when I returned from one of my classes to chill under the OTW building at the Sir Arthur Lewis Community College.

I settled into my usual spot and started a conversation with a group of my peers. Until this one boy decided to say one of the most bizarre things I’ve heard in my entire life. For the purposes of this story, this boy will be called ‘Yolk’.

This is what Yolk said word for word on that faithful day. 

“I don’t believe in turtles.”

Statement from Yolk

A GIF OF HOOK FROM PETER PAN SAYING, “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FAIRIES.”

Nobody took him seriously, of course, and we laughed at the implausibility of such a belief. After the cackling ceased, my boy Yolk said that he really did not believe in turtles.

Now, dear confused reader, you may be asking, “Why, why Yolk?” At this point, in the past, I, too, asked, “Why Yolk?”

BUCKLE UP GIF FROM TENOR

Yolk’s explanation of why he did not believe in turtles scrambled my brain then and continues to scramble my brain now.  To Yolk, the turtles are fictional beings. 

His logic goes as follows: they hatch from their eggs and automatically know to crawl to the ocean, equipped to live for 70+ years with no life lessons or anything, just complete independence. How is this even possible?

A TIKTOK VIDEO INSINUATION BABY TURTLES HATCH INTO A WARZONE

This complete disregard for an entire animal species applied to all kinds of turtles: sea and freshwater turtles, all of them.

What about tortoises? Those ones, too.

CONFUSED CAVEMAN MEME PHOTO FROM TENOR.COM

According to Yolk, all creatures under the scientific order of Testudines, regardless of species, class or creed, were nonexistent (on his version of Earth).

Yolk posits that if turtles were real, why haven’t humans used them for medical purposes? Some species supposedly live up to 150 years! Why don’t we have people living to that age?

Here’s a study on turtles and the possibilities for human longevity: Forever Young

“Have you ever googled the giant head turtle?” Yolk asked, “It’s so fake. It’s literally a Pokémon.”

“As its name suggests, the big-headed turtle has a disproportionately large head compared to its small body”

– Edge of Existence

So, at this point, I asked Yolk what he thought about the fact that I previously had two pet turtles. 

When I was seven, I was gifted two cute red ear slider turtles, which I called Pixie and Dixie.

A RED EAR SLIDER TURTLE FROM SPRUCEPETS.COM

I also revealed how once, when I was on the beach, I watched a nest of hawksbill hatchlings erupt from the sand and make their way to the sea.

A VIDEO ON HATCHLINGS BY THE BBC

More on hawksbill turtles here!

However, my encounters with turtles did not convince Yolk. He rebutted my claims with the proposition that what we see as turtles weren’t turtles but were actually robots designed by China.

Essentially, what Yolk is saying is that China has been tricking the world into thinking that an entire species exists, but in fact, the existence of these shelled (apparently robot) reptiles is part of a grand scheme for who knows what?

CONSPIRACY THEORIST MEME PHOTO FROM YOURMEME.COM

But you and I both know that turtles do exist. With testudinologists (turtle scientists), fishermen, protection laws and other factors, turtles are very much real.

HAWKSBILL TURTLE PHOTO FROM DAILY MAIL UK

My encounter with Yolk showed me that some people will always think otherwise, regardless of the evidence provided. For instance, Flat Earthers believe the Earth is flat and surrounded by a ring of ice despite the insurmountable evidence against this.

FLAT EARTH ILLUSTRATION FROM PHYSICSWORLD

But today, with the horrific wars, forms of discrimination, and worsening climate change conditions due to the blatant disregard by the 1%, real life appears to be far scarier than fictitious conspiracy theories.

What could be so bad about a few imposter robot turtles?

AN ARTISTIC ILLUSTRATION OF A TURTLE IN A TINFOIL HAT