Sylvia Wynter's Dream

When I was little I loved to play with my cousins. I have two older cousins and two younger cousins. It was twilight. My eldest cousin was eating his dinner – curry chicken and rice – and my other older cousin decided we would give the two youngest piggyback rides. They climbed on our backs and we shot off. Side by side. Running through the hallways. In and out of the bedrooms. We dashed through the kitchen. Giggling. We passed our Grandpa sitting on the veranda – he was babysitting us tonight since everyone else went out. And we made it back into the living room. While putting my younger cousin down from my back and onto the couch, his tiny foot hit his older brother’s plate and it fell out of his hand and onto the tiled floor. Clunk. My eldest cousin ran out of the room and I bent down to pick up the plate. I turned it over and I scooped up the food to put back on the plate. Slack! I didn’t realize when my Grandpa had walked up to me. Slack! After my eldest cousin tattled on us, my Grandpa got his leather belt with a huge metal buckle. Slack! My Grandpa is an intimidating man. He’s traditional. He’s the patriarch. Even our adult parents are afraid of him. Slack! He was hitting me with his leather belt. Slack! But it wasn’t with the leather strap. Slack! The large metal belt buckle hit me over and over again on my lower back. Slack! My Grandpa never said a word. Slack! My hands trembled and my eyes got blurry. I couldn’t see. I never made a sound. That would have made it worse. Slack! The silent tears that fell on the back of my hand were wet and warm. Slack! I think the bone in my spine cracked. Slack! I know welts formed. Slack! I could feel them. Raised. Swollen. Hot. Slack! Maybe the skin had split and was bleeding. He finally stopped. He walked away. I sat there trembling, I never made a sound. I don’t even know when my cousins disappeared. We were all playing and laughing. So why am I the only one who is crying?